My Child’s tryst for Independence

My 5 year old son started going to play group since he was 1.5 years old…my intention behind the same was to ensure that he sees and realizes that here are other human beings other than his mamma and daddy :)..that worked well..his social skills improved, his speech improved and he has learnt a lot which probably I might not have been able to teach him at home.

Being independent myself, I always wanted my son to be independent as well…so it gave me immense happiness to see him doing his work on his own – putting his clothes in the wishing machine, opening his socks and shoes and putting them at their respective places, putting his plate and spoon to wash after eating..and the list goes on. But now his independence has gone to another level…he wants to walk independently on the road, wants to decide his own routine, says ‘NO’ vehemently if he doesn’t want something…also goes to the extent of throwing tantrums to achieve the same.

On one hand, I love the fact that he says NO and wishes to be ‘the man of his world’…but the other actions are indications of him wanting to branch and try and face the world on his own without our help…. I trust him to do a great job at that..but what do I do about the mother within me who is so skeptical of the world around her child which is unpredictable, untrustworthy??

Given today’s scenario, I really feel the need to be the 21st century’s Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot…to ensure no harm befalls my child….there are mistakes that he definitely needs to make to learn some critical lessons in life …but I would like to safeguard him from the other bigger errors which might be led by the environment and not my child… Don’t fear my child….your mummy and daddy are hear to fear for you and protect you…you enjoy life to the fullest and branch out in any way that you wish !!!!!!

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Confidence vs Self Doubt

As a parent, Iam always self doubting my job as a mother…Am I doing enough? Am I exposing my child to all elements that he should be exposed to at this age? Hope I am doing the right thing for him to progress in life without any hindrances…and so on

Iam sure as a parent all of us go through these feelings which get further enhanced when we interact with other parents and hear about all that they are doing. A couple of things that I have learnt over the last 3.5 years of being a mum is that no parent is perfect. What is important is your intention behind what you do for your child.

You need not have to show off or get fancy things for your kids to prove yourself as a good parent. Even daily interactions with your child teach them a lot of things with respect to behavior, attitude, self respect which will serve to be life learning lessons for them. Doses of cuddles, hugs and kisses regularly lead to a happy and content child….

Isnt that what we want finally? To raise a child who is happy, confident and loving :).

Lets unleash ourselves away from the societal norms and identifiers of being a good parent and follow our hearts and be confident of ourselves as parents :):)

Evolution Of A Full Time Working Mom To A Freelance Mom!!

After working for 12 years, through my pregnancy and beyond, I never thought I would want to take a break..but I was getting signs to slow down ..after a lot of mulling around, I took the step (which many people around me told was drastic, what would I do after that…etc etc..you know the routine!!) …..even I did give a thought to what my future plans would be….I didn’t want to not work forever….

Surprisingly, as soon as I took the step, there was a feeling of liberation….(not that I hated my job…I actually loved it!!)…the feeling of being in control of myself…all my time at my own disposal to do whatever I pleased…..spent the first couple of days just enjoying not working and luckily post that I started getting freelance work…

I am able to do so much more now – take lessons, participate and be selected as a Safe Food Ambassador (SFA) for Tetra Pak, take part in a dance performance at my son’s annual day function, take off and watch an impromptu movie with him and his friends, an impromptu trip out of Mumbai…and planning so much more…

I am so glad to have taken the decision when I did….there is so much more to life than just work…and definitely this decision wouldn’t have been easy without the unconditional support from my husband (who by the way said that I would get bored a week into my break….not sure if that was true…didn’t get the chance to validate that hypothesis ;))

Its so much fun to be able to follow your passion and do what you wish to do….its not always about the money!! This new journey as an SFA has been enriching – meeting new, like minded people, learning from each other, motivating each other and being able to do much more than what we normally do….enjoying it completely!!

Wake up….enjoy this time before it runs out!!

Cheers to life!!!

Crossroads: Should our children trust others or not?

Life was relatively easier when we were kids..people trusted each other..we mixed around freely with people without any inhibitions or fear. But given today’s social conditions and shocking incidents all around us, esp around sexual assaults on kids, as a parent I am at a dilemma of what to teach my child.

I want him to be friendly with people but yet am unable to ward off my own apprehensions and lack of trust on people (which has got aggravated since I became a mother :)) What do I do? I hit the panic button as soon as strangers start getting friendly with him, reiterate good touch and bad touch at regular intervals lest he forget the same….that’s not how our children should have to live…they should be confident and perceive the world as a happy and safe place to grow and live in.

The only thing I hope is that we can take progressive steps and are able to leave behind a safe world for our children to live in without any fear which they are entitled to 🙂 An anxious yet hopeful mother

Raising kids- without kid gloves!

I really envy our parents. They had a much easier time raising us with lesser distraction for kids, hardly any peer pressure, more time dedicated to playing with friends in the playground, hardly any branding to impact their decision making and mostly more family members to interact with the child thereby giving the parents some free time.

We don’t have it that easy…not only do we have to raise our kids well but also fight the demons (branded toys, peer pressure, wanting large scaled birthday parties like others, junk food always and you can list many more of course) on the path literally like knights in shining armor to protect our prince and princesses. The demons manifest in so many forms, we end up always multitasking to protect our kids from its effects.

And with nuclear families on the rise, it’s difficult to make time for ourselves especially if you are like me who doesn’t trust their kids with any outsider (a.k.a maid, babysitter etc.)

 

Given this scenario, our parenting style has to be adaptive to the situation. We can’t always molly coddle our kids. They need to understand the bitter truths of life at an early age to be in touch with reality. For example, they have to share, what others do might not be best for them, it’s okay to not have latest branded toys, clothes etc.

To raise a grounded child, it is essential to let them grow in reality by exposing them to it and also leading a similar life. Let them experience love, sorrow, pain, fear. That is the only way they will appreciate happiness and relief and realize that no emotion is permanent.  This will help our kids appreciate what they have and what they really need. It will also help them differentiate between important and unimportant aspects of life. And in the long run it helps build patience which this generation completely lacks.

So, let’s remove our kid gloves, let our kids experience the reality of life thereby giving them the best gift ever – COURAGE TO LIVE LIFE COMPLETELY AND FACE WHAT IT THROWS AT THEM

My child’s tryst for Independence

independence-shoes

My 5 year old son started going to play group since he was 1.5 years old…my intention behind the same was to ensure that he sees and realizes that here are other human beings other than his mamma and daddy :)..that worked well..his social skills improved, his speech improved and he has learnt a lot which probably I might not have been able to teach him at home.

Being independent myself, I always wanted my son to be independent as well…so it gave me immense happiness to see him doing his work on his own – putting his clothes in the wishing machine, opening his socks and shoes and putting them at their respective places, putting his plate and spoon to wash after eating..and the list goes on. But now his independence has gone to another level…he wants to walk independently on the road, wants to decide his own routine, says ‘NO’ vehemently if he doesn’t want something…also goes to the extent of throwing tantrums to achieve the same.

On one hand, I love the fact that he says NO and wishes to be ‘the man of his world’…but the other actions are indications of him wanting to branch and try and face the world on his own without our help…. I trust him to do a great job at that..but what do I do about the mother within me who is so skeptical of the world around her child which is unpredictable, untrustworthy??

Given today’s scenario, I really feel the need to be the 21st century’s Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot…to ensure no harm befalls my child….there are mistakes that he definitely needs to make to learn some critical lessons in life …but I would like to safeguard him from the other bigger errors which might be led by the environment and not my child… Don’t fear my child….your mummy and daddy are hear to fear for you and protect you…you enjoy life to the fullest and branch out in any way that you wish !!!!!!