My child’s tryst for Independence


My 5 year old son started going to play group since he was 1.5 years old…my intention behind the same was to ensure that he sees and realizes that here are other human beings other than his mamma and daddy :)..that worked well..his social skills improved, his speech improved and he has learnt a lot which probably I might not have been able to teach him at home.

Being independent myself, I always wanted my son to be independent as well…so it gave me immense happiness to see him doing his work on his own – putting his clothes in the wishing machine, opening his socks and shoes and putting them at their respective places, putting his plate and spoon to wash after eating..and the list goes on. But now his independence has gone to another level…he wants to walk independently on the road, wants to decide his own routine, says ‘NO’ vehemently if he doesn’t want something…also goes to the extent of throwing tantrums to achieve the same.

On one hand, I love the fact that he says NO and wishes to be ‘the man of his world’…but the other actions are indications of him wanting to branch and try and face the world on his own without our help…. I trust him to do a great job at that..but what do I do about the mother within me who is so skeptical of the world around her child which is unpredictable, untrustworthy??

Given today’s scenario, I really feel the need to be the 21st century’s Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot…to ensure no harm befalls my child….there are mistakes that he definitely needs to make to learn some critical lessons in life …but I would like to safeguard him from the other bigger errors which might be led by the environment and not my child… Don’t fear my child….your mummy and daddy are hear to fear for you and protect you…you enjoy life to the fullest and branch out in any way that you wish !!!!!!


16 thoughts on “My child’s tryst for Independence

  1. That balance of where their independence should be is so hard. Like you I always get pride within me when I see my child doing something for themselves for the first time. I love them gaining that self-confidence that they are capable. But that capability is annoying when they use their independence against me when I am not ready for it yet! You sound like a great mom and make me really think about those small moments when my kids were super little.

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  2. The hardest thing we can do as parents which I feel is essential is to let children fail occasionally and that includes getting hurt and standing on their own. When it comes to getting hurt physically, I refer only to falling down and getting a few scratches at most.

    It is when they learn the most. 🙂

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  3. I so love how you speak to your child on those last few lines. I often communicate with my boys, too, either personally or through my blog posts. Our children are truly God’s greatest blessings, and I would want them to enjoy and experience life to the fullest — and that includes yes, mingling with others and going outside the house.

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  4. It’s wonderful to read that you do fear for your child; that’s called love. Ofcourse a child can’t do everything themselves. It’s good to teach them however to help out or to take care of small things themselves. You will see that when children interfere they start to like being “big”.

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  5. I see so much independence in my daughter, she is only 2 and already says no to things, wants to wear certain clothes and shoes! It’s very hard as a parent to know when to step back a little, I think my daughter is wise beyond her years so we have to be extra careful when her stubborn streak appears. But we are protectors and I think we fear for our children until they’re able to for themselves, if that makes sense, it’s very hard for me to explain. Lovely post!

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  6. How proud you must be for your child’s independent attitude… I agree it is moment of happiness and fear at the same time.

    I am actually 25 and my mom still is protective for me. She is perfect sherlock. 🙂

    You know its just the best feeling to know that mom and dad will be there whenever I need them. Likewise I am always there for them.

    Trust me one day your lil baby will be there and be equally protective for you. 🙂

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  7. I understand where you are coming from. My eldest daughter was an only child for 8 years (before I gave birth to my 2nd and 3rd daughter). Just like your son, my daughter used to be aloof and quiet. But when she started going to school when she turned 3, my daughter improved her social skills and became friendly.

    She is now 12 going 13, and she has so many friends. But that “independent” part of her will always stay I guess. Coz sometimes when I offer help, she always says NO. =)

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